Critical but stable?

You have been whisked into the hospital of FAITH and a paramedic must convey your condition to the doctor (GOD/ HIGHER BEING YOU BELIEVE IN) which patient are you:

A: Undetermined: The patient has not yet been assessed, diagnosed or treated.
B: Good: The patient’s vital signs are stable and within normal limits. He or she is conscious and comfortable, with excellent indicators for recovery.
C: Fair: The patient’s vital signs are stable and normal, and the patient is conscious, but he or she might be uncomfortable. Indicators for recovery are favorable.
D: Serious: The patient is very ill, and might have unstable vital signs outside the normal limits. Indicators are questionable.
E: Critical: The patient has unstable vitals that are not normal, and could be unconscious. Indicators for recovery are unfavorable.
F: Treated and released: The patient was treated but not admitted to the hospital.
G: Treated and transferred: The patient received treatment at one facility and was then transferred to another facility.

Patient condition terminology

I can already tell you that I have been rushed straight to ICU and no one knows if I will go from better to worse, I wish this wasn’t so dramatic but wow honestly I am definitely Patient E.

Last night I was meant to listen to sermon titled ‘Hide and Seek’ but somehow between another late night at work and the energy to want do nothing overcame me when I got home I choose sleep instead. So this morning on my normal two-hour commute to work I opened up my YouTube and saw a new sermon by a Pastor I discovered yesterday and the title intrigued me so I played it and let’s just say it literally tied into my thoughts and feelings.

I love a great testimony like the next person, they fill you up with hope and wanting to push again to get better but when you’ re in a place of true spiritual drought you need to be reached on that level. I had expressed my feelings to many around me and even though the advice they gave me was sound and great it truly did nothing for me inside. It felt like nobody truly got me but this one sermon explained what years of collective spiritual trauma had built up to and clearly reflects where I am now.

Just yesterday I tweeted this:


I feel that this message spoke directly to that, so I urge you to please listen to Sermon: Sick Faith by Dharius Daniels. Someone was able to explain exactly where I am and how I’ve been feeling spiritually, it validated me.

I obviously cried not only cause of the sermon but because the same thoughts surfaced again, ‘why am I alive? why is it worth it?” and no you won’t find the answers to all of that in the video but it sure while put a name to things you have been feeling.

I don’t have the remedy on how to fix it all, because if I did then I would be okay again but knowing where to start has encouraged a bit more to try and find some way forward.

I will take you through the notes I felt where important and stuck with me .I always take notes during sermons helps me reflect better later and maybe its something you can try out too.

One of the most important questions we need to ask ourselves is: “At the core of it all what does God really want from us?

This should be a question we ask in all the relationships we surround ourselves in, what do we really want from person A and what do they really want from us? This helps manage expectations.

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Once you think you’ve found the answer to the question he goes on to tackle the idea of faith.

Faith is acting like God (your higher being) is telling the truth , all the time, about everything.”

Now sit a minute and take that in. It does not say ‘feeling like’ no it says ‘acting like’ which means you already walk in the spirit of knowing things are being worked for your greater good.

You will, therefore, understand how difficult this concept truly is when you have felt like you’ve been left in the dark a couple of times and now have ‘faith trauma’.

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We all know it is not about the quantity of your faith for it has been said over and over that even faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains in your life it comes down to the QUALITY of your faith. Through the many situations we go though our faith gets damaged (I am nodding my head profusely cause wow yes). Even in faith we go through traumatic experiences, the moments you call on God (higher being) and there is no answer.

We need to heal our faith. Faith is what helps us through our prayers and our salvation. Faith is the foundation of it all. He also acknowledged that yes one day your story might be a testimony but let us not ignore that it has also damaged your faith and now you need to heal.

And that is the difficult but most important part of it all, finding healing.

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If you have begun the process of healing your faith share how you have been doing it and what it has taught you so far. I would love to know.

To finding healing again…



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