It’s Libra Szn everybody and that is how you know you have entered my birthday month.
To all those celebrating in the 10th month of the year, I hope your new life season is filled with clarity, peace, love, more awareness of yourself and letting go of what no longer serves you. It’s time we value what adds value to us.
September came with a new personal low blow in the love department but ended off on a good note in the self-development side. I am sure you are tired of hearing this but 2019 keeps showing me that as soon as I think I have reached rock bottom there somehow seems to be a basement. I have been emotionally, mentally and spiritually beat and that’s kind of how the world gets to you. It lets you drown in the negativity and you somehow forget you are still here…LIKE I AM LITERALLY A BREATHING HUMAN BEING, surely there is a reason why I am still here and this brings me back to what I hope October becomes for us.
I have either numbed myself out to emotionally feeling anything or the extreme opposite and being overwhelmed, currently, I have been keeping very busy to avoid dealing with my emotions but we all know that’s a one-way road to disaster.
One day you will be ‘fine’ and then next thing you know your emotions are all attacking you :
In one of my many conversations to myself, I noted that I needed to go back to listening to sermons, praying often and reflecting on my faith again. It’s tough to will yourself to speak to those above you when you feel no one is listening but yesterday I listened to a powerful and much-needed sermon titled Everything Must Go – Sarah Jakes Roberts
Sarah Jakes Roberts made an analogy between a store having a sale, which allows them to let go of things that are no longer profitable in order to bring in what is of profit and how we need to be doing the same by letting of bitterness, anger, our insecurities (whatever plagues you really) in order to make room for what will serve us. These things hold us hostage and we get comfortable in them. We make them part of who we are when truly they are not. I was allowing these to be part of me, making them seem like character traits when it is not at all who I am.
But again, who am I?
It is a question I have asked myself many times, I know I am not the same person I was a year ago but who am I now?
This got me asking myself and maybe you should wonder too, are we too fixed in getting back to who we used to be instead of meeting ourselves where we are now? embracing it, learning more about ourselves and not just trying to move forward in the shadow of what once was but instead looking at what could be?
I’d like to meet myself where I am today. Learn my new-found strengths and weaknesses, what brings me joy and what triggers me, I want to actively participate in getting to be my own best friend again instead of banishing parts of me that I don’t entirely like. I want to show myself love and kindness that maybe I have been scared to fully seek elsewhere cause I don’t know who I am representing to the world.
Have you met yourself where you are now?
Are you willing to?
The beauty in life is that even with it’s ten thousand hardships you need to give credit to your heart for having faith and hope even if it’s as small as a mustard seed. You are keeping yourself here and yes you don’t see it but you are truly fighting harder for yourself more than you know. Thank that inner you that’s willing to wake up and fight another day.
Let October be the month you start cutting off the weeds that are holding you back and let it be a time you get to meet yourself where you are now and learn to love the person that is and not what was.
So happy new month, you have made through 10 months and I am happy you are still here.
It will get better.
Time to Jam: